How to Separate Your Emotions During a Divorce


When you are engaged in mediation you will be required to make a decision on an entire litany of tangible issues such as who will stay in the marital home, who will be paying the bills, and whether spousal support will be paid. If the two of you don’t have your anger or grief over the divorce in check, it can be difficult to keep your focus on the issues at hand because you have to separate your emotions during a divorce. Most couples will want to meet independently with their chosen mediator so the issues can be properly established. This meeting will also give both of you a good idea of whether mediation will work for you or whether you should go the more traditional divorce court way. If the anger felt by one or both spouses can be identified and managed, then mediation may still have a chance.


It can be helpful for parents with special needs children to follow a specific parenting plan template which takes the extra factors into consideration.  If the parents are simply unable to work out the details, it could be time for them to give mediation a try. Mediation offers a specific process for problem-solving and teaches the parents to learn the communication skills they need to work cooperatively both now and in the future. The discussions which are encouraged during mediation can allow the parents to address the specific and special challenges and responsibilities which come with parenting a special needs child. The goal of mediation will be to ensure neither parent is overly burdened with expenses and responsibilities of the special needs child and that the child gets the extra help needed. If you have any concerns regarding developing a parenting plan for your special needs child, consult your Colorado divorce attorney for advice and help.

During times of crisis, your world may appear to be crumbling, along with your concept of who you are. You may begin to question everything as you feel emotions so intense you wonder whether you will survive them. Anger, resentment, bitterness, confusion, rage, grief, and depression; you may feel all these emotions and then some. The important takeaway is not letting those emotions define who you are and how the rest of your life will be. Remember—no one has control over the choices you will make for your future but you, so face that future with a hopeful, happy spirit, rather than a heart full of toxic emotions. 

In the end, try to see how your anger is creating pain in your own life and determine who is more affected by it—you, or your ex? Chances are, your ex is not even aware of the amount of anger you have toward them, and might not care even if they were aware. When you come to that realization, you will see that it is only hurting you—not the person you are angry with. Don’t expect forgiveness to happen overnight—it is a process and will take time, however your future and your happiness depend on you letting go of any anger and resentment you feel toward your ex. One day you will wake up and realize you are no longer angry and that’s the day your new life truly begins.

If you are considering a divorce in Colorado Springs, we can help you during this difficult time. Contact the Boulder divorce attorneys at Goff & Goff, LLC today for a free initial consultation.